Get with it mum, he's only my friend....

In my mother's day boyfriends were potential marriage partners. They were screened by the father, the brothers , sisters, aunts, uncles and grandparents.. everyone had a say .. " Ah yah, he got mole on the big toe.. no good". " I heard his father cheat Mr Wong in business !!! " " This one very good... he is studying to be a doctor ah .." how they knew all this .. I still dont know.

During dates there are chaperons .. either the brother or sister is the designated lampost and curfew was adhered to least the door be closed to future dates. A time when boys asked permission to hold hands and a date of more than 3 times meant the couple was " serious". And if the couple had been going out for more than a month marriage was expected. The word " jilted " rang with mystery and intrigue as to what had caused the break-up.

When a boy or girl was invited over for Chinese New Year or a family event.. they were most certainly "meeting the family" and soon some ancient aunty would sally forth with a marriage proposal to the girl's family.. days of love letters, hand holdings.. anything beyond the hand was reserved for the dance floor in the public eye.

Photographs were of the studio kind, simple poses and close up shots resembling Clark Gabel, Vivan Leigh or Judy Garland... sighs were fashionable, giggles appropriate and love notes exchanged. Hahaha how those days have flown.

Today its the time of cuba cuba sajah, macam macam ada ... Dating starts with .. group dates where kids pair off anyway.. love letters? Dont waste their time.. it's the age of sms and chats on the net. No bus or bicycles to get to their dates either.. mums and dads are allowed to drop their kids off at malls, Starbucks and Coffeebean.. provided they never stop the engine and park but get on their way once the kid has arrived at the date venue..If you ask to see their date.. they groan and say , no need lah, why like dat. friend also cannot..

Ice Kachang and kacang puteh??? Hahahahaha... it's Starbucks mum get with it.. where one coffee with a fancy name costs 12 ringgit a pop..a cake which we can easily bake tastes sweeter at 6.50! And movies??? In KL I experieced the Premier Theatres.. at RM 14 per seat you get a couples seat with a cup holder and a small bag of pop corn which you are supposed to share with your date.. I am glad I dont date cos I needed the whole bag for myself !!

Then Confusion.. My daughter's best friend ( ?? ) was/is a guy and they share everything from gossip to shopping but dont date.. however they do talk about the people they like. They trade secrets and they lend each other a sympathetic ear.. but they are not a couple.. yeap .. get with it mum .. he's just a friend.

Then her friend takes her out and they go shopping with other girls and come Valentine's day he's bought her a gift.. I raise an eye brow.. get with it mum, I also sent stuff to my classmates and friends.. he's just a friend.

A handphone pops up and it's not hers... whose is it I ask? ... oh my friend is travelling and we traded phones.. it's just for fun.. ah yah mum, he's just a friend.

It's Christmas now and they've been friends a while. The flights are full and he cant get back. Mum my friend is stuck in KL and might have to spend Xmas alone.. so sad.. Do you want him back here for Christmas I ask? Of course mum, he's my friend.

The phone beeps an sms for over an hour. I look at my daughter.. and sigh .. Yah,I know it's only your friend...