The power of a simple song...

Last night after dinner my father in law dug out some sheets of pale yellowing paper. And on them were lyrics of some old Japanese songs. The elderly Aunties and Uncle got excited as they remembered this song and that. I got the feeling that despite what they have told us about the hunger and cruelty of the Japanese occupation it would seem that there must have been some sweet moments in the ugliness of their youth. Last night my dad-in -law played the harmonica with such passion and gusto. And the quavering voices of the two elderly aunties filled the night with songs of long ago. Our elderly uncle who suffers from dementia, was "awakened" by the songs they sang and in the glimmer of the night he became young again as his memory recovered fleetingly to speak of days gone by.

They sang songs of love, songs of moonlight and laughter in a language I had never heard them speak.. and as I watched them I felt as if I was looking in on a memory . Whatever regrets, whatever disappointments each one may have had, whatever troubles in their health they may be facing.. was suspended last night.. as songs brought them all to another place and time.

If I could I would have liked to freeze that moment for them.. to capture it in a frame. Last night more than ever I felt the power of another generation who had lived through great hardship arise to show us younger ones ( or not so young ) that life is not diminshed by circumstances but that we can choose to overcome hardship. That we should .. relish moments instead of wallowing in regrets, focus on each other instead of our enemies, make time for simple stuff instead of overplanning for tomorrow.

Tomorrow will come whether we like it or not.. but today, today we have a chance to live our best , and one day when we grow old we can sit around and remember .. that in a time of great turmoil and economic hardship, we overcame with joy , laughter , love .. and maybe , a simple song.

Hidden treasures..

Last night was a mixed nite.. it was momentous in opposite directions

An old classmate called me from the UK .We were in school together for many years and we had the same common " best friend " .. who similiarly used us and left us feeling insecure and bitter about certain experiences.. and after 35 years we manage to talk about it and put it to rest.. see sometimes revisiting the past you do main some api ! But this was good api.. the kind that warms you up after the cold, the type that leaves you feeling better after a dark night in the woods.

It felt like pieces of a jig-saw puzzle that was left incomplete finally had the pieces to make a whole picture! And I got to re-make an old friendship to boot !

Then later, another friend calls. The US economy is really in deep trouble and people are asked to take a mnadatory 2 day unpaid leave per week. Her work hours have been slashed and she's only working in a school ! Thousands are retrenched and companies once stable and strong are now closed. The sheer imagery of that leaves me broken hearted and breathless. The impact will surely make its way to our shores.. like a Tsuanami of epic proportions.

So what shall we hold on to? Our homes? Our cars? our investments ( snort, haha )? Maybe it's not such a bad thing. With these things and the proverbial ladder of success in the shadows.. we might find more time to focus on other things.. our families, our spouses.. our children.. the way we cook, the way we ate before the fancy restuarants and fast food joints.. the way we save, eager to see the coins fill the jar..the way we take cash out of the Atm.. yes, for many of us there will be a change in our lives.. perhaps for some, God will seem far away but for those who will now spend that time seeking Him, I gaurantee ,you will find hidden treasures .

Past revisted ..

Recently I sent out a piece on the revisitng the past.. I stopped because I fell asleep...

My husband says to me.. oftentimes, " Jangan main api".. Dont play with fire.. How much of your past you revisit is " Playing with Fire?".. Lately, my past kinda caught up with me.. after nearly 25 odd years of not speaking to anyone who knew me before the age of 15 .. I found old classmates on Facebook.

Looking at some of them I see how far they've come, how successful they've become and what different women they have grown to be. My ex- classmates are all over the place ranging from Singapore to England, to Australia and the US. They chat with one another and leave " threads" on Facebook like as if being 14 was just yesterday, they remember teachers whom I have forgotten. They remember things about you , you don't remember about yourself.. some good , some bad.

But they do remind you of a time long ago. Like the smell of a scent, or the light in the day.. their voices bring you to places you have long shut the door to. It tickles your nostrils and you try to place the time and event and like an elusive wiff it seems vaguely yet dangerously familiar.. We don't know who we've grown to be but we remember who we were.. strangers yet friends in the remotest definition possible.

Jangan Main Api..... hmm that depends dosent it? After all fire is good for some things !

A prayer for my kids...

My Prayer for you

My Prayer for you today is simple. I pray that God will watch over you and guide you

That He may through different situations in your life, lead you to know Him not just a God of the bible but God of your life. That when you are facing a tough time you will know His presence giving you strength and helping you to overcome.

My prayer for you is that you not take any moment for granted. That you appreciate those around you and the life you have been given an opportunity to live. To treasure those with you, great and small for God really did make them all. For God sent them and others, to teach you, to stretch you and bless you. Above all, that you not take God for granted, for He is not there just to serve your needs, but to help you to live your best.

My prayer for you is that you trust Him and know that whatever you do, He already made a way for you.Whether it is Bio-Med , Business, Dancer, or simply being a mum or dad... He figured it out .. so ask Him .

As for your future I pray that He keeps and honors you with a life-partner who loves Him first and then you. A partner who knows that all their days are in His hands. A man or woman who will cherish you, guide and accompany you as you grow old together with laughter and good cheer; whose family will treasure you as they treasure their own. A life partner whose values you share and whom God has called forth for you.

And Lord, for good measure , make this life partner " hot" for my kids.

My prayer for you is that you know that you are loved.That as parents there are moments which get the better of us and unlike Jesus who loves you through it all, we may at times fail to show that unmitigated support so bear with us, we are your parents not God.

Just remember we love you and in good time we will come to our senses.. and you to yours... nothing can not be worked out or discussed in love.

Above all my children , know that God has already laid in you the ability to succeed. You are His child first And His Word says that He knows the plans He has for you, Plans to prosper you..In Him you have a destiny. So live it large and live it well. Treasure the moments, not just the highlights.. because sometimes it's the small things that help you grow.. Know that whatever you go through, do not be daunted. Let fear have no part of you. But trust in God who loves you.. and parents who feel the same ... XOXO Mum.

What to do???

To all you parents who have sent your kids overseas.. how long will you leave em there before they come home? Specifically to Aust .. since coming home from the US in 3 months is out of the question !

My baby has Easter hols in April and of course she and her mates want to come home. Frankly I was not prepared for her to come home so soon.. I've just sent her there ! But .. there's a question of leaving her alone when all her pals are coming back.. what would you do?

Bringing her back now doesent make sense economically and emotionally. I am one who believes that it took so much to even get you there let alone have you come back only to unravel all over again. And yet the thought of her alone with all her friends gone, not knowing what to do or who to hang with.. urgh.. I am her mum. She incubated in me for 9 months! Of course I have a soft belly !

You have my email.. let me know what you think.. hahaha.. esp those of you who have sent your babies away.. cos I know that there's coming a time when they DONT WANT to come home.. so what's the airfare to and fro..eventually we will be willing to pay but they will have all the reasons not to get onto that plane... :)

A moment in time

Hind sight is a beautiful thing. But the problem with hind sight is that you have to live through the moment in order to be able to achieve that kind of wisdom. Not all of this is pleasant and most times it's downright hard .. but there is a light at the other side of the tunnel , it's just that you have to want , to be determined to get there. Because if you give up, you'll probably live in the darkness thinking that that's all there is.. I read an article the other day which was written by a fireman trapped in the debris of the 9/11 terror attacks on the Twin Towers in New York.

Trapped in tons of concrete , twisted wire and dust he was ready to surrender and he actually prayed " To you Lord I surrender my spirit" . He had an incredible vision of Jesus coming and in His hand He carried a bottle of mineral water. He felt Jesus tell him to hang on. Unbeknowst to him rescuers were getting closer and closer to him. When again he cried out to Jesus and said." I am ready, take me home". Jesus appeared and again he saw the mineral water.. The rescuers had found him and were digging towards him. It took them nearly 5-6 hours but they got him out alive. He underwent 20 odd sugeries and had to be induced into a coma in order to survive the surgeries.. He said when he recoeverd, " When I was in that tunnel I saw nothing but my end. If not for Jesus I would have given up and fallen asleep when the rescuers called out to me. He gave me a bottle of mineral water.. I knew then that it was'nt time for me to leave.. you dont need mineral water in heaven.!"

Yup it always seems darkest before we eventually see the light . The trick is to hold on and believe that Jesus will lead us towards something better and that this difficult moment is just that.. a moment in your life history and it shall soon pass.

Missing you...

I was singing with the worship team yesterday when I saw him.. he looked the same as when he was a boy. A cheeky " I am in church because my parents brought me" look. He sat down and from where I was he did'nt look much different than he was when he was 16.

He is my best friend's only son . We havent seen each other for nearly 8 years. The last time being at his mum's funeral. It was as if time stood still and if I walked up to him I could ask " Hey, how are you? Where's mum ?"

He was a terror when he was younger. Hahah he and I used to " fight" for his mum's attention. I thought she was too attentive and should let him be.. and he thought she was too pre-occupied with me ! He got into everything and anything.. the Sunday school teachers were stretched. She worried about his friends, about his food , about his studies.. the usual.

Today he's graduated and he's going on to pursue a Master's in Media. He has a girlfriend and when I look at her I think of how much fun my friend would have had with this girl.. a prospective daughter she's longed for. He's gotten through all the teenage angst ..only to carry some forward to adulthood.. well some things take time.

It made me nostalgic to see her one more time. She would have been so proud to come back with him to visit. Proud and anxious.. but that's what mum's are for... the nest is never really empty and the children never really grow up in our eyes. She would have loved this moment. Coming back to Kuching with her grown up son and a daughter in spirit... See, I told you He would give you more kids Lil' ! :)